Slow steps to health

Sometimes I have to take things very slowly. I have pernicious anaemia which means sometimes I am very fatigued. I just drag myself from place to place and have too many (sometimes surprise) naps. I have to learn to listen to my body and let it rest- if rest is what it needs.

I feel guilty for not doing things; for not taking photos, for not exploring or writing or blogging or any of the hobbies and things I like to do when I have the energy for them. I get called lazy quite often, from family and friends who don’t really understand and I feel guilty for it anyway. I’m always looking over my shoulder waiting to be called on it. If I had energy I would be doing things. If my body was working at full (or near full ) capacity I would be doing things non- stop. I would feel like I had created something or expressed myself and I would fall asleep tired not fatigued.

However I have learned to be patient. I know my energy levels will come back up. I know I can get back to doing the things I love. Until then, I am resting. I am changing my diet, my habits and whole way of living to improve my health and life. I have not smoked a cigarette since february and I will never smoke another. I have not had coca-cola for two months – I used to drink at least five bottles a day!! I walk more and eat more fruit then I ever had. Slowly and surely, step by step, I will snail crawl my way to health.

And if my body is telling me it needs rest I will rest – and I will not let anyone make me feel bad for it!